Twain's "Poor Richard's"

Ignorant readers are easily preyed upon. In 1732, Benjamin Franklin introduced Poor Richard’s Almanack to the unsuspecting American public. The almanac addressed the typical prophecies concerning the weather and astrological signs, but Franklin slipped short bits of wit and wisdom between the calendar entries. The American public took to Franklin’s proverbs like a pig takes to mud. Even now, nearly 400 years later, American quote the timeless truths: “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,” “A penny saved is a penny earned,” and “God helps them that help themselves.”

With sayings just as witty, but possibly not as timeless, Twain uses Puddin’head Wilson’s Calendar to insert his own philosophical proverbs into the American culture.

Tacked onto the beginning of each chapter are quotes from the Calendar that immortalize Twain’s sarcastic wit and open cynicism toward the human race. So, sit back and enjoy a laugh as I share with you some of my favorites from Puddin’head Wilson’s Calendar for 1894.

January: “Nothing so needs reform as other people’s habits.”
{I cannot count how many times I have thought the same thing—don’t people know that my way is best?}

April 1^st: “This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are the other three hundred and sixty-four.”
{Can’t you picture him with one eyebrow cocked and a smirking twitch at his moustache uttering these words of wisdom in his tenored Southern drawl?}

July 4^th:  “Statistics show we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.”
{This quote brings back hilarious family memories—including the year I finally scrapped up the courage to hold the Roman Candles. I think I jumped four feet in the air when the first projectile left the cardboard tube in my hand. I dropped the still-active firecracker on the ground as it sent off the remaining six or seven cartridges. I don’t think I’d ever seen my dad and brothers move so quickly . . .}

August: “Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved?”
{What a way to think about life! As a Christian, I should be looking forward to “going home.” But as a human, I am all too attached to those God brings into my life . . . }

October: “This is one of the particularly dangerous months to speculate stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.”

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